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27 July 2013 @ 11:05 am
Hi guys,

So I've been a member for a few years now but haven't posted in ages as I was in hospital for a while and then went into outpatient treatment. I've been up and down and all over the place in my recovery but have finally found two big things that work for me - fitness and having a career goal I really care about.

I've just finished studying to be a remedial massage therapist and am going to be studying psychology next year. My goal is to provide physical and psychological treatment as a combined package. At the moment it seems like therapists have forgotten that mind and body are connected - you can't see anyone who treats both (or I haven't found anyone anyway!). But so many conditions (eating disorders especially) have both physical and mental/emotional issues which need to be addressed. I'll have to start out small, but eventually I want to start an eating disorders clinic that has psychologists, nutritionists, personal trainers, massage therapists, medical professionals etc so people get all the help they need in the one place. I would want a focus on fitness and health, not just for clients but for all the staff because I know how effing hard it is (and this sounds awful but it's true) to take advice on your diet and what you're doing to your body from someone who doesn't look healthy themselves.

Anyway, I could talk for ages about my plans but don't want to bore you guys! I was just really hoping that some of you could help me out. I'm making a business plan for my first little massage business (the first tiny step towards my end goal which is so important to me but which seems too huge to be possible at the moment!). I have a really short survey I need some people to fill out. It'll take less than 5 minutes and you would be doing me the hugest favour in the world. The link is http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2XQGNGL

Thanks for reading,

<3

Sooty
 
 
 
01 March 2012 @ 09:35 pm
I think I have made a huuuuuge step in my Recovery today :D


very positive, but potentially triggering and I cba to white out!Collapse )

 
 
 
 
 
11 June 2009 @ 12:16 am
I was told today -

"You have turned this community into a support community not a "proana" one and now I can't post my thinspo, get diets and find tips"

My response:  THANK YOU!

I know that was meant to be a mean comment and nasty slam towards me, however, if this place is supportive to those who need help and is UNIQUE by offering support and love...then so be it. 

If you want a site with Tips, Diets, Thinspo  and other harmful things...GO! There are PLENTY out there...Just GOOGLE them! This place is different and Needs to be just that! 

We have the best online community for ED's in my honest opinion.

IF you want support, understanding, guidance and friends...Then this is the place for you!

I will NOT allow anyone to get sicker due to this site, or find ways to sink deeper and/or sustain this awful disease.

IF you want an Ana Buddy, Group Fasting and Competition...Please click LEAVE COMMUNITY NOW.

I love you all and I care too much to have anyone join and become sicker and/or develop this disorder, If I can help it.

Sincerely and with Love,

xoxox
Corie~






 
 
 
10 May 2009 @ 10:56 am


I would put this behind a cut, however, I want you all to watch this.



NOTE:
  THIS COMMUNITY IS NOW LOCKED. YOU CAN NOT SEE THE POSTS UNLESS YOU ARE A MEMBER.

THANK YOU!





NOTE:
  THIS COMMUNITY IS NOW LOCKED. YOU CAN NOT SEE THE POSTS UNLESS YOU ARE A MEMBER.

THANK YOU!



 
 
 
03 May 2009 @ 03:48 pm
But to anyone who is truly pro anorexia, and not just on here because they are lonely in their ED'S, please read this.

First off, let me say what I'm sure you have heard a million times but are to "determined" to actually accept; having anorexia will not make you happy. You will be just as unhappy as a bulimic or a binge eater or anyone else who has used food as a way to cope with the shit that has happened to them. Im not going to use flowery language to describe this, because eating disorders are ugly and horrible to endure. For the few girls on here saying "oh but I just want to lose weight SO BAD, I JUST WANT TO BE SKINNY" I'm sorry, but get the fuck over yourself. If you are not already too sick to fight, FUCKING FIGHT! Don't just lie down and let your 'disordered thoughts' send you to the slaughter house. I am pretty sure the vast majority of people on here are not anorexic, but do suffer from some sort of eating disorder, and there is this very palpable vibe that anorexia is the 'coveted disease'. It suck just as much as any DISEASE. It is horrible and scary and lonely AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. I FELT JUST AS BAD ABOUT MYSELF AT 5'9 100 LBS AS I DID AT 130. I just needed to say this, as someone who has now been struggling for just over a year with a diagnosed anorexia, IT IS HELL, HELL, HELL. DO NOT talk yourself into some sugary fantasy about beautiful bones and feeling delicate and beautiful. It will never ever ever ever happen. Not because you wont be a bag of  "lovely, beautiful, graceful, PERFECT", bones. You will be, but you wont see it. You will see the same selfish, ugly, loud, evil, girl staring back in the mirror no matter how many pounds you starve away, and even if you recognize you are thin, you will come to the should-be obvious conclusion that, surprise, it doesn't change ANYTHING. So if you think there is a chance you dont really have an ED and are just on here because you think it sounds like a good way to fit into those true religions and get some attention, pull your head out of the clouds and FIGHT. You are worth it, but after the meat grinder experience of battling an eating disorder, that will be harder to recognize. And if you think you wont want to fight, you're wrong. You will, when you feel your body start to crumble and decay, you will wish you could be the strong, healthy, beautiful person you decided to destroy. But by the time you actually want to fight for your life (because your great little eating disorder will fucking KILL YOU) you won't be able to see two feet in front of you, you won't be able to make the decision to recover, not easily, not with out unimaginable pain. You will waste years of your life for no reason. Please, if you can, turn back now. I am so sick of girls just rolling over and giving into negative thoughts and allowing them to metastasize into anorexia and bulimia and binge eating disorder and every-other manner of hell we practice upon ourselves. It is not worth it. I promise.
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 07:59 pm

Go now, and live.

Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once and a while, and don’t be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You.

Go now, and live.

 
 
 
29 April 2009 @ 07:09 am

in my brave and seemingly motivated attempt to recover from my compulsive undereating i have now also developed compulsive purging on top of it.
and i dont even really binge.

seeing a doctor tonight to get a referal for a psychologist.
hurry up wednesday before i irreversibly damage my organs.
the one time i want help i have to wait two weeks.


fml.
 
 
Current Mood: cramps :(
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 09:11 pm
hmmm  
i officially hate living at home
constantly watched
sometimes i wish i could just be on my own
annoying x
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 03:18 pm
ive lost the only two people ive ever really loved.
one was last year in a car accident (a yr on saturday)
and the other is moving across the country and wants nothing to do with me until she moves bc its "too hard" for her.

fml
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 10:00 pm

 

For some reason after seeing myself in a few different shop mirrors, I stormed off to a pharmacy and bought diet pills, the strongest on the market. The pharmacist asked me how much do I want to lose, I said 10 pounds for starters. She gave me pills for 15 days and seemed very optimistic for my weight loss.

I surely hope I'll drop some, no matter what I do, I won't lose recently. It was an expensive act of desperation which for my own sanity will hopefully make a difference.

 
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 02:42 pm
tell me a happy storyyy
please? :)
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 07:00 pm
Off topic i know, but you guys are like best friends so here goes, i've NEVER had a boyfrined ever in my life and theres this amazing guy right now, i dont see him that often and when i do i forget just about every problem and have the most wonderful feeling ever.....but we've only talked properly like once and it was amazing i was high for the rest of week! we just had like a casual hi and exchanged a smile today...i dont know should i just give up? just let it go? but i dont want to let it go if theres something really speical there....but i dont know if i should keep pursuing it any thoughts? i understand if i people dont think this post is like useful or anything ARH >.< would be grateful for some help thank youuu xxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
 
 
 
29 April 2009 @ 08:04 am
I'm watching the sun dry my tears
and leave the makeup runs behind.

I said goodbye to my bestfriend lastnight
she moved.
She was my olny friend. It's hard
for me to make friends in the town i live in.


God i miss her so much.

I couldn't get up for school but my mom yelled
so i got dressed threw some makeup on and clothing.
ran out the door put on my LA shades and went to school
and had a friend pick me up after my mom droped me off
and now i'm here talking to you guys.

:( i need not cry over this anymore.
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 04:30 pm
Hi My name is Katie and I joined the group today. I am always nervous to introduce myself but here we go.

Im a 27 year old Australian girl living in Ireland. Im by no means anorexic- I have a bmi of 25 so Im more close to the overweight side of things... but I am no strabnger to live journal or ED related behaviour. Ive been bulimic (and went to treatment), Ive been a huge laxative abuser, a restricter and an over eater... Ive been fat and I've been slim...

Im not currently binging or purging (well not on a regular basis), and I am trying hard to stray from laxative abuse (but Im struggling). I try to restrict in a bid to avoid the trigger to purge and take lax. But some days are harder than others. I get 'better' but cabn be easily triggered by something as simple as losing a couple of lbs whn I am sick...

I found happiness in the form of an irish man last year while on a one year holiday in Ireland,and since making the move here to live with him, alot of the feelings I have toward myself and food have calmed down....but I have been struggling with these issues since I was 13 and I am now 27 so you can appreciate these feelings are hard to let go of.

Im around for anyone that wants to chat so drop me a line.
Take Care
Katie
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 09:12 am
Has anyone lost weight by drinking Apple Cider Vinegar? How much do you take and how often?
 
 
 
28 April 2009 @ 08:00 pm
Q:  
does anyone wanna be like online/msn contacts?
i'm so lonely, all by myself at uni.
it's shit.
 
 
 
27 April 2009 @ 10:57 pm
i swear every time food is whited out on this site i highlight it.
i don't want to highlight it but i do.
then i crave it

ohhh why do i torture myself?
 
 
 
27 April 2009 @ 10:49 pm
I decided to just deal with no sleep & watch breakfast at tiffany's :D

i hope you are all having a lovely & safe night :)