Log in

03 May 2009 @ 03:48 pm
Dont bitch me out about this  
But to anyone who is truly pro anorexia, and not just on here because they are lonely in their ED'S, please read this.

First off, let me say what I'm sure you have heard a million times but are to "determined" to actually accept; having anorexia will not make you happy. You will be just as unhappy as a bulimic or a binge eater or anyone else who has used food as a way to cope with the shit that has happened to them. Im not going to use flowery language to describe this, because eating disorders are ugly and horrible to endure. For the few girls on here saying "oh but I just want to lose weight SO BAD, I JUST WANT TO BE SKINNY" I'm sorry, but get the fuck over yourself. If you are not already too sick to fight, FUCKING FIGHT! Don't just lie down and let your 'disordered thoughts' send you to the slaughter house. I am pretty sure the vast majority of people on here are not anorexic, but do suffer from some sort of eating disorder, and there is this very palpable vibe that anorexia is the 'coveted disease'. It suck just as much as any DISEASE. It is horrible and scary and lonely AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. I FELT JUST AS BAD ABOUT MYSELF AT 5'9 100 LBS AS I DID AT 130. I just needed to say this, as someone who has now been struggling for just over a year with a diagnosed anorexia, IT IS HELL, HELL, HELL. DO NOT talk yourself into some sugary fantasy about beautiful bones and feeling delicate and beautiful. It will never ever ever ever happen. Not because you wont be a bag of  "lovely, beautiful, graceful, PERFECT", bones. You will be, but you wont see it. You will see the same selfish, ugly, loud, evil, girl staring back in the mirror no matter how many pounds you starve away, and even if you recognize you are thin, you will come to the should-be obvious conclusion that, surprise, it doesn't change ANYTHING. So if you think there is a chance you dont really have an ED and are just on here because you think it sounds like a good way to fit into those true religions and get some attention, pull your head out of the clouds and FIGHT. You are worth it, but after the meat grinder experience of battling an eating disorder, that will be harder to recognize. And if you think you wont want to fight, you're wrong. You will, when you feel your body start to crumble and decay, you will wish you could be the strong, healthy, beautiful person you decided to destroy. But by the time you actually want to fight for your life (because your great little eating disorder will fucking KILL YOU) you won't be able to see two feet in front of you, you won't be able to make the decision to recover, not easily, not with out unimaginable pain. You will waste years of your life for no reason. Please, if you can, turn back now. I am so sick of girls just rolling over and giving into negative thoughts and allowing them to metastasize into anorexia and bulimia and binge eating disorder and every-other manner of hell we practice upon ourselves. It is not worth it. I promise.
Catmomwildflower399 on May 3rd, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
lameamy on May 3rd, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)
I know, im not saying bulimia or any other disorder is any less hellish. I'm saying anorexia is not any better then any other disorder. I know everyone want to be thin, but when girls come on here saying , "OMG I JUST WANT TO BE LIKE NICOLE RICHIE, OMG HOW DID MY BFF GET SO THIN"..ect etc etc, it seriously makes me scream.
(Deleted comment)
lameamy on May 3rd, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC)
yep, the media does a great job of making anorexia seem like the SUPER HERO ILLNESS, as I have dubbed it. They basically say; 'anorexics are too smart, and too driven, and have too much self control'. yep, that's gonna steer people away from it, nicely played. *rips out hair**]

ailmentaileb on May 3rd, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)

some of those newbie posts had me seeing green!

"i just want to lose weight but I don't want to binge or be anorexic" wtf

"i want to lose 10 pounds in 6 days"

lameamy on May 3rd, 2009 11:13 pm (UTC)
seriously, I wish that they could actually get it into there heads that NO ONE on here is happy. it's so obvious and some how no one catches on. is anyone on here like "YAY I WEIGH 87 LBS, IM SO SO HAPPY, IM SO GLAD I HAVE RUINED MY LIFE TO BE THIN, ED ROCKS!!!" UM, NOPE. But still, everyone seems to think THEY will be happy WHEN THEY ARE THIN. bullllllshitttttt.
(Deleted comment)
lameamy on May 3rd, 2009 11:15 pm (UTC)
Thank YOU!
fat_weak on May 3rd, 2009 11:29 pm (UTC)
Awh hun i completely agree. I actually posted something a little like this a while back. I HATE the way this website makes anorexia look so blissful. Im diagnosed bulimic and it really pisses me off because i constantly feel like my ED isnt good enough around here, sometimes ive had like 1 b/p in a day which i feel is good (as apposed to 5/6) and then people are so horrible and it makes me feel like shit.
I hate the whole 'lets be anorexic so we can be pretty at prom' attitude. It makes me want to be sick (lol from the bulimic). Wow that joke was inappropriate. Sorry.

love x
obscuredreamzobscuredreamz on May 3rd, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this post.
Laurathin_destiny on May 3rd, 2009 11:51 pm (UTC)
Yep totally agree. The more weight you lose, the worse you feel. Why would you want a disease?
eraseme83eraseme83 on May 4th, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
Preach it, Sistah! Seriously, I think it is so sad that people would WANT this disease. Or wanting to "catch" anorexia because they want attention or because they want to attract a guy. Do they really think they'll be pretty, thin and happy? I can tell you, I never feel that way. And my guy? I drive him crazy.. I make him sad.. because he does not understand why I do what I do to myself. He can't even talk about it because he feels worthless. As does everyone else around me. And as much as I would love to stop for them.. it's just too hard. To be honest, I think I was almost happier when I was an overweight kid. Sure, I got teased a bit, but I think if I would have just let myself grow out of it and didn't go down this road... god, my life would be so much better. I wouldn't have lost my gallbladder. I wouldn't have blood sugar problems. I wouldn't have the constant body and bone aches... the constant feeling that I'm going to pass out. Seriously, who would want that? Do these people not read through our posts and see what's happening to us?
Rachellettuce_1992 on May 4th, 2009 03:19 pm (UTC)
Agreed. I would much rather be happy with my body and capable of eating normally than 100 lbs.
killtherok on May 4th, 2009 04:57 pm (UTC)
easier said than done. mental illnesses are not easy to fight. u cant help what u want. i want to feel happy and eat normally, but when i see 90lbs on the scale i want to rip my hair out and rip the fat off my stomach with my bare hands. i feel good when i see progression towards a lower weight. i understand what ur saying, but eating disorders are a big catch-22
thejadeforestthe_jade_forest on May 21st, 2009 02:30 am (UTC)
I agree
Katiekswin19 on May 5th, 2009 02:00 am (UTC)
oh yeah they think its glamorous... yeah 6 years a bulimia has done wonders for my body lol spend my 16th bday in the ER, teeth are clear hair is 1/3 its origional thickness... what the hck are they thinking...
x_margot_dk_xx_margot_dk_x on May 5th, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)
im pro ana till i die. these girls arent here to make the world anaorexic. they have stopped me frome killing myself more times than you can imagine. it is a support group. i do echo your sentiment when i say this is an illness. i dont really remember what you mean but im an alcoholic i guess. i dont know but these girls are my wor;d but i dont remember what im saying. help ,e. this is the end.
coco_123 on May 5th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
104lbs: unhappy
98lbs: unhappy
90lbs: unhappy
85lbs: unhappy
80lbs: unhappy
77lbs: UNHAPPY!

thanks u for your post, you totally hit the nail on the head, the more i lose the more unhappy i feel, i just need the control that my life otherwise lacks! it's not about looking like nicole richie, it's about having something that's yours.
Veeskeletonlover on May 5th, 2009 02:22 pm (UTC)
You're the new Obama, girl!
thepheonixfliesthepheonixflies on May 6th, 2009 05:27 pm (UTC)
*claps* Well said, my dear. I'm at least 10 to 12 years older than the average age on this site. I give you courage for saying what has needed to said, rather spelled out, for a long time.
orfi2orfi2 on May 7th, 2009 01:09 am (UTC)
thanks so much for writing this. I feel like a lot of people on here WANT to develop eating disorders, but dont actually have them. and all the things you said are so right...its absolutely horrible and its sucks and no one should be "trying" to do this. glad you posted your thoughts, i agree with them whole heartedly!
Acididrinkacidrain on May 8th, 2009 06:32 am (UTC)
Thanks, I think you did a marvellous job of phrasing this. It needed to be said. I don't come here and whinge about my eating disorder constantly, but there's a wonderful support network of lovely girls and boys here who are great to talk to about anything, really. Again: thank you!
dncrinthedrkdncrinthedrk on May 11th, 2009 12:38 am (UTC)
I'm really glad you posted this. I agree it needs to be said. Sometimes daily.. Sadly.
quendria28quendria28 on May 14th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC)
i've had this ed since 1982 or 1983...
i don't remember anymore.
it was too long ago.
0_admiration0_admiration on May 15th, 2009 03:56 am (UTC)
Everytime I think i'm ok. I seem to slip into another ED.
First it started with anorexia and over exercising...then builmia...then anorexia again... now binge eating. I'm so tired. I wish normal could just be easy but its not. This is my life. This is part of me. No one should ever wish it. I wish i could wish it away in a second. Just to be able to look at food... without the thought of how many calories...how much ive eaten today... how much exercise i need to et rid of it or whether or not its going to set me off into another binge.
Thank you for your post. You said it right.
elegantwasterelegantwaster on May 20th, 2009 12:42 am (UTC)
Ok I totally get your frustration and agree that pro ana is not the way to go but seriously think back to why you found this website and why you started to starve yourself. Slightly hypocritical I feel. I hate the fact that so many are ignorant to the real pain of anorexia but shunning those new comers who are in desperate seek of help isnt the way. Cos thats what this website is right? The first step to asking for help. We tell eachother everything: our pain, the troubles ana has brought us, why we got sick in the first place, etc. But maybe then this place shouldnt be called proana.. maybe thats the initial problem. I dunno just wanted to voice my opinion, I get the anger but think your argument needs to be thought through more.
ohsocrazyladyohsocrazylady on July 3rd, 2009 05:15 pm (UTC)
Sort of related to your post...

Yes, I think, a lot of places call themselves pro-ana because that's the easiest way of finding like-minded people. While I am part of a "pro-ana" site (not recovery, unless a particular member wants that - and then he or she is supported, as well), it tries to take a CRON approach to eating, and while there are many eating disordered people there (anorexic, bulimics, COEs), there are many who simply like the atmosphere of the community and are not in fact, eating disordered. So, truthfully, while we call ourselves pro-ana(because it's an easy identifier), what a lot of sites are, are "pro-acceptance", I find.

I do think that we tend to get caught up in semantics. I'n sure there are really hardcore pro-ana sites that don't care how its members lose weight...but the one I'm a part of, does care for its members.
thejadeforestthe_jade_forest on May 21st, 2009 02:40 am (UTC)
I agree and disagree with what you wrote.
On the one had, yes, anorexia IS a disease. And it is not something to be encouraged or sought after. I also agree that this is a site for support and caring rather then "giving tips" which some people seem to try and attain. I believe that the younger crowd on PA should be aware of the physical, mental, and emotional scars that anorexia will lead to. I also believe that prevention (ie: talking about how to recieve help, and detering girls away from falling into an eating disorder) should be promoted.

But, i must say, that, even thought a majority of the girls on Pro Anorexia are not, clinically, "anorexic", that they do still suffer. We are taught by the media and people around us that Anorexia is the "glorified" disease, while Bulimia and Binge-Eating should be looked down upon and avoid discussion. Alot of the EDNOS people on this site are not trying to "be anorexic", but do tend to lean towards a strong desire to be 'thin' because it is a cry for help. You do not see many "average weight" patients in IP centers. I myself feel that unless i am as 'sick' on the outside as i am on the inside, that i will not receive the type of treatment i need. Not that i am justifying this. ED are a very complex and confusing.

Anyways long story short. I think you made many good points, but that we should not "shun" the others on this site who may not seem to 'suffer' from full-blown anorexia or who talk about the 'eating' side of their disorder more then the emotional drive behind it.

Rubyinsideruby on June 8th, 2009 06:17 am (UTC)
Thankyou. Thankyou.
cosmosonearthcosmosonearth on June 18th, 2009 04:28 pm (UTC)
thank you.
iKarenkarensaid on September 27th, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Thank you, to both you and the OP.ag

For a long time I felt like maybe I was just imagining everything. Although my ED was making me suffer, maybe because I wasn't clinically diagnosed nor was I thin enough, I wasn't worthy of help... Maybe I didn't REALLY have an ED. It was scary, not knowing if I could even return here for support.
bingeandpurge07bingeandpurge07 on December 6th, 2009 03:47 pm (UTC)
kacyme on May 23rd, 2009 06:32 pm (UTC)
You are a POMPOUS BITCH. Anorexia is not your exclusive sorority. DON'T for one second think you ever know how it feels to walk in another persons shoes, and never ever think that somehow your life or your struggles are ever any worse than anyone else's.
bingeandpurge07bingeandpurge07 on December 6th, 2009 03:45 pm (UTC)
im not saying amen to this, because i think the way it's written is slightly shallow
i do agree that having had my body eat my organs from starvation and having been sat in a crummy hospital being pumped full of calories for months on end, that anorexia is a murderer, a chronic killer which nobody should ever have to decent into then endure.
chillipepper_02: pic#74389044chillipepper_02 on February 13th, 2013 02:18 pm (UTC)
If there was a like button I would press it. x