Just so you know...

I was told today -

"You have turned this community into a support community not a "proana" one and now I can't post my thinspo, get diets and find tips"

My response:  THANK YOU!

I know that was meant to be a mean comment and nasty slam towards me, however, if this place is supportive to those who need help and is UNIQUE by offering support and love...then so be it. 

If you want a site with Tips, Diets, Thinspo  and other harmful things...GO! There are PLENTY out there...Just GOOGLE them! This place is different and Needs to be just that! 

We have the best online community for ED's in my honest opinion.

IF you want support, understanding, guidance and friends...Then this is the place for you!

I will NOT allow anyone to get sicker due to this site, or find ways to sink deeper and/or sustain this awful disease.

IF you want an Ana Buddy, Group Fasting and Competition...Please click LEAVE COMMUNITY NOW.

I love you all and I care too much to have anyone join and become sicker and/or develop this disorder, If I can help it.

Sincerely and with Love,



Because you are YOU!

I would put this behind a cut, however, I want you all to watch this.





Dont bitch me out about this

But to anyone who is truly pro anorexia, and not just on here because they are lonely in their ED'S, please read this.

First off, let me say what I'm sure you have heard a million times but are to "determined" to actually accept; having anorexia will not make you happy. You will be just as unhappy as a bulimic or a binge eater or anyone else who has used food as a way to cope with the shit that has happened to them. Im not going to use flowery language to describe this, because eating disorders are ugly and horrible to endure. For the few girls on here saying "oh but I just want to lose weight SO BAD, I JUST WANT TO BE SKINNY" I'm sorry, but get the fuck over yourself. If you are not already too sick to fight, FUCKING FIGHT! Don't just lie down and let your 'disordered thoughts' send you to the slaughter house. I am pretty sure the vast majority of people on here are not anorexic, but do suffer from some sort of eating disorder, and there is this very palpable vibe that anorexia is the 'coveted disease'. It suck just as much as any DISEASE. It is horrible and scary and lonely AND YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. I FELT JUST AS BAD ABOUT MYSELF AT 5'9 100 LBS AS I DID AT 130. I just needed to say this, as someone who has now been struggling for just over a year with a diagnosed anorexia, IT IS HELL, HELL, HELL. DO NOT talk yourself into some sugary fantasy about beautiful bones and feeling delicate and beautiful. It will never ever ever ever happen. Not because you wont be a bag of  "lovely, beautiful, graceful, PERFECT", bones. You will be, but you wont see it. You will see the same selfish, ugly, loud, evil, girl staring back in the mirror no matter how many pounds you starve away, and even if you recognize you are thin, you will come to the should-be obvious conclusion that, surprise, it doesn't change ANYTHING. So if you think there is a chance you dont really have an ED and are just on here because you think it sounds like a good way to fit into those true religions and get some attention, pull your head out of the clouds and FIGHT. You are worth it, but after the meat grinder experience of battling an eating disorder, that will be harder to recognize. And if you think you wont want to fight, you're wrong. You will, when you feel your body start to crumble and decay, you will wish you could be the strong, healthy, beautiful person you decided to destroy. But by the time you actually want to fight for your life (because your great little eating disorder will fucking KILL YOU) you won't be able to see two feet in front of you, you won't be able to make the decision to recover, not easily, not with out unimaginable pain. You will waste years of your life for no reason. Please, if you can, turn back now. I am so sick of girls just rolling over and giving into negative thoughts and allowing them to metastasize into anorexia and bulimia and binge eating disorder and every-other manner of hell we practice upon ourselves. It is not worth it. I promise.

(no subject)

Go now, and live.

Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once and a while, and don’t be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You.

Go now, and live.


epic fail.

in my brave and seemingly motivated attempt to recover from my compulsive undereating i have now also developed compulsive purging on top of it.
and i dont even really binge.

seeing a doctor tonight to get a referal for a psychologist.
hurry up wednesday before i irreversibly damage my organs.
the one time i want help i have to wait two weeks.

  • Current Mood
    cramps :(

crying all day

ive lost the only two people ive ever really loved.
one was last year in a car accident (a yr on saturday)
and the other is moving across the country and wants nothing to do with me until she moves bc its "too hard" for her.


(no subject)


For some reason after seeing myself in a few different shop mirrors, I stormed off to a pharmacy and bought diet pills, the strongest on the market. The pharmacist asked me how much do I want to lose, I said 10 pounds for starters. She gave me pills for 15 days and seemed very optimistic for my weight loss.

I surely hope I'll drop some, no matter what I do, I won't lose recently. It was an expensive act of desperation which for my own sanity will hopefully make a difference.