yes, i wear tube socks to bed EVERY night ;DD
yes, i wear tube socks to bed EVERY night ;DD
those of you who have been inpatient, what types of things do they do there? give as much details as your willing to please!
i know this particular hospital is extremely small and only take a very small group of inpatients at a time so idk im just really weirded out by the whole thought of living in a hospital for...who knows how long?
just thought i'd share that.
THE WAY THAT I DO?
AIM: RYAN REVOLUTIONN
mine are constantly giving he threats about admitting me into hospital unless i eat
they just don't understand
why is everyone so so so clueless??
ps this insomnia is killing me, it's 1:00am in Australia, does anyone else have this problem?
im so bored
all of my friends are like that but im the only one who has to starve themselves
it makes me so jealous and upset of them and their perfect bodies with their junk food and normal amounts of exercise
1. In an hour, my boyfriend will wake up and I will text him good morning <3
2. I've decided that I want to go to see Mindless Self Indulgence on May 8th
3. I'm going to try to do as good as i did today, tmrw - well i guess it's today now.
Your Calculated BMI is: 19.4
below 18.5 is "underweight", i need to lose 10lbs to get there it says. God i love this thing.
I'm not going to even mention what i binged on..
I was so upset , I almost cried my self to sleep.
Its so annoying, I just want all food to disappear from my life.
its so hard when people pressure you .
And i am going to be working tonight then I am going to be going to a party..
So basically Im fucking screwed.
God I just want to cry and get sick or something. SO I have a easier way not to eat..
This might be really awkward///weird but :
I had a dream that my friend lived in this h uge huge huge house.
and in every bath room there was a scale and I would go on every scale and measure my self..
and it would always say 117. ( my goal weight) and I would get upset because know that its like 15lbs off.
so basicallly, I am going to go on my soup fast on saturday..
then sunday I always get lunch with my old friend but i am going to try to skip out on it.
Do homework and go to sleep SUPER early.
these are just words,much easier than done.
Luckily today i can't eat very much at all, if anything. i can feel it. i felt it as soon as i woke up.
My stomach is empty and growling - which i love/hate, but i know the discomfort will pass if I ignore it for long enough.
Good Morning Guys and Girls!!
Ok so i've decided that as it is my birthday today, i've decided to try to be positive, today at least, and focus on the good things in my life. A big part of that is all of you wonderful people who I know will always support me and give me a lift when I need one. I've only been on here a few days, and already I've met perople I can really open up to and be myself with-phew!!
Thank you all!! Stay strong-I hope you all have good days.
Lots of love and huge hugs,xxxxx
wasn't so good. :|
But i'm not gonna dwell on that.
Today is gonna be good.
I don't have a chance to binge.
Except i've been invited to a party tonight,
Which means alch alch alch alch and more.
Butttt i'm not sure if i'm going.
Mainly because it means cals cals cals cals cals.
& they are just not needed!
Stay strong everyone!
i think the reason is she feels sorry for me because she knows that people are bullying me
she wants to phone up the school but doesn't she realise that will make things much worse?
she made me have some weetabix before she went out so that was probably im guessing 300/400 calories =S
not having anything else today though,
just watching thinspo & exersizing
think thin everybody;
do you think he should know...like should i get a good friend to just tell him quietly? say something like...i think you should know blah blah blah...?
i doubt that some of you guys remember me...
anyway, i was doing pretty good except the WHOLE last week.
i feel like i've gained 12lbs, on the other hand i just hope that i cannot gain so much weight in week.
i wanted to ask you guys if you also feel like working out nulks you up, because i really workes out alot and my body got harder, but i nit skinnier, which is what i want to be.
thanks ans have a good day!!!
i'm 54 kilo's now, if i lose 4 kilo's (i can do that in a couple of weeks, at this speed), im actually underweight, bmi wise. im fuckin excited!!
my goal weight is 45, allthough im far from that, ive been so much further, and im quite happy. but i think ill move it to 50 for now, just because i think it will motivate me more!
im happy for the first time in a while
getting crazily pregnant looking bloated from eating... pretty much anything?
i eat an apple, i get bloated. ANYTHING really, and the odd thing is, if i chew fast and sink it fast= bloated, if i chew and eat slowly, taking teeny tiny bites= bloated.
what is my problem?
scared out of my mind, going to the doctor soon (for checkup so that i can continue my p-pills)
ive been doing really well lately, and im fuckin scared she will find out..
because last time i was there, i was 'doing good' which means i ate 'normally' >_< i was so fat. and 10 kilos heavier
today, i am 127.
as much as i am so happy to be down 3 lbs, i am still so much bigger than i was a two months ago. it's gross.
i am feeling really motivated. even though i messed up monday and thursday and binged, i still lost some. today should be good.
I wish i didn't depend on the scale as much as I do. Esp when it is as Fickle as I am.
Well, at least I lost the birthday parties weight I had gained. Now it is back to the grind stone. (or should i say grinding the stones off)
6 pounds to desired weight to be maintained and then we go from there even lower.
Side note of poz: I have gotten several compliments on my legs so I guess the tone up is working. too bad is isn't working on my tummy. and hips.
how is everyone ??
for the last week I was binging none stop and gained 10 lbs!!! i didnt even know that was possible. I weighed 110 i was so ashamed of myself. I felt like i threw all my hardwork and control out the window. But this week has been pretty good. the other day my bf took me up to the mtn near here and we went for a hike and did some rock climbing (and it was right in the morning before i ate anything) and i lost 5 lbs!! so now im down to 102 lbs. tempted to go eat something right now but I'm determined to get back to 100 AT LEAST. So I'm just going to stick to my water. I find the more water I drink, the more I lose the next morning. weird eh. anywayy I hope everyone is doing well<3 if anyone ever needs words of encouragement just remember this simply saying; (it has helped me) 'a moment on the lips, forever on the hips' I just repeat it to myself over n over and it helps me keep my control:P
ily all !!
have a steller day!! <3
someone please help me. i am craving a chocolate truffle or some green and blacks dark chocolate or a digestive. its only 10:41!!!
now i'm 115.
so thats the good news.
but I AM more DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF than i ever have been
because (yesterday) on the end of my 4th day of tea fasting my bf convinced me somehow that since i'd walked 5 miles, i needed to eat something!
BUT I DIDN'T NEED TO!! in the end, i GAVE IN and ate something really, really sugary and that lead to another thing and then another. i was crying and a complete mess. i went into the woods and purged everything. it was so gross. i feel horrible.
anyway, i honestly hope you are all having a much better day than i am.
pleeeaasse don't give in to anything today! STAY STRONG.
hope everyone is ok its good to be back, and back in control xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
just had a freezing cold bath , just cold water & i sat in it for about 20 minutes
once i got out i felt great and i weighed myself & i had lost a pound! =D
but i read on the internet its bad for you..
does anyone else take freezing cold baths?
I love them all, and I don't want to isolate myself, but my habits are definitely changing. I used to LOVE going out every single night, which meant ingesting tons and tons of liquid calories, and often late night binges on all kinds of horrible shit.
But lately, I am soo exhausted and don't want to ruin a great day of restricting with drinking like 800 calories in alcohol, beer and mixers or chasers. So, last night, we went to Paper and I drank WAY too many calories.
Then, for the first time LITERALLY since I started really restricting, I lost control and let myself eat a falafal when we got home. It had no sauce on it, just veg and falafal but still...I haven't done something like that in SO long. SO SO long.
How do I compromise and go out and still have fun but not ruin a perfect day?
I am so disappointed in myself..I've never felt so far away from a goal before. I feel like I've ruined everything, and I don't b/p, so I got upset, went to bed, woke up and now I feel SO horrible, low, ugly, fat...
Where did my control go??? I hate this. and I hate that I have no motivation to do cardio. Or anything, for that matter. I hate this hate this hate this, and I'm totally plateauing, in terms of losing. I am going to be living near a beach and I need to do SO much work in the next 30 days.
does anyone else find trimspa hard to swallow??
so i never want to write what i eat cause i dont wanna tempt anyone.
i know i'm so dumb and thats probally soooo obvious, but could anyone tell me how to do it?
I feel like a big nerd but its working for me. Does anyone else share the same lust for temperature?
For some reason I wish I could be as confident as these women. I think its awful that they let themselves get so big but you know, they seem happy....
kudos to that.
I'm so depressed at the moment. I havn't felt this bad since I tried to top myself last year. And I know that when I feel this bad it takes time, lots of time, before I feel anything near happy again.
I'm back around my highest ever weight and I feel so disgusting. I look horrible in anything so, if I ever do mange to go out anywhere, I look so hideous it's not worth it.
My older sister's boyf had just gone to prison and they've just had a baby. MyMum's a total bitch and has disowned us all for her new boyf. So me and my twin have been living with our sister to help out. I want to help her out and would feel bad not doing , but I just feel like shit. And I have to eat meals with them both (my sisters) so I've ballooned. Seriously I'm a cow. On top of that they keep making plans and going out with out even inviting me or asking what I'm up to. This is the third day in a row I've been left sitting at home alone. They also both keep making digs at me all the time, I'm like the outcast, me and my twin were inseperable until we moved in with our older sister.
Yesterday I was here all day alone crying so much, I was literally acheing with sadness. It was wierd; normally I get angry or upset, but I was just so sad. I felt like I was grieving for the life I would have liked, but am never going to get. With a family where everyone likes eachother, and wants to spend time together. with enough money to pay the bills, and the excellent exams results I was meant to get, and proper meals that don't scare the life out of me.
I'm so bloody lonely. I've pushed the only real friends I had away, and all the others are just people to go to gigs or parties with so if I want to go out I don't have to go alone. I have nobody to talk to. Literally all I do everyday and night is smoke my face in until all I can see is my bong, and that's the only way I feel sort of OK, because then, when that's all I can think about, nothing else matters.
I don't have any idea how to sort all the other crap out in my life, but I need to lose, and quickly. Starting today, I'm restricting to 600 cals a day. Wish me luck.
i have a random question i seem soo stupid asking but wat da hella re neg foods like wat do they do?
Anyway, purging and diet pills have kept my weight stable despite the binging. I'm off to exercise and hopefully burn about 1000 calories. I need that. Prom's in a week, and I have my whole life ahead of me in which I will NOT be fat.
Good luck, stay strong, and stay safe!
Blah. I want to be skinny and I'm going to get there. I am. 100%. Just fucking watch me. If it's the last thing I fucking do. It's what I crave and need so here I go 100% all of me. Everything I have. My whole entire being.....I'm giving up. I'm giving myself up.
Hooray for failure and may it bring me peace.
Fudge Pops - 60 calories.
they fill you up and have enough chocolate to get ride of your craving! and are yummy too! : )
Of anyone and anything
That you thought could lose the love you saved.
Quickly comes the wrecking ball
Tearing you like tired walls
Crumbling with all you had to give.
Builds you back as something new
With skin that don’t remember you
Paints you in an awful place to live.
When you start feeling
like a stranger to yourself
& missing who you were before you became someone else,
I’ll be sleeping with my soul in
Scared to death you’re waking up to nothing again.
In a blur your days confuse
The faces looking back at you
For angels that used to share your bed.
While things you never thought you’d do
& paths you never thought you’d choose
Are becoming all that you have left.
When you start feeling
like a stranger to yourself
& missing who you were before you became someone else,
I’ll be sleeping with my soul in
Scared to death you’re waking up to nothing again.
STAY STRONG BEAUTIFUL ONES xxxx
NEVER LET THIS CONTROL GO AGAIN. I LOVE IT
So what's behind it all? I got a phone call from my parents telling me to pack up. I'm moving back to California, and I don't get to stay for the summer anymore, which really kills my summer plans. Then they decide they want me back in Orange County for a bit before heading up to LA, which sucks even more. I hate suburbs. Then I find out Jon wants to give the dogs away. I don't understand how someone's solution can always be just to buy a new one. How can you just give something away that you've raised and loved? These dogs have kept me going on the worst of night, but I guess i'll never understand why some people just don't care.
Spending my time intoxicated, because life is too depressing, which is probably the cause of most of this fatness, but you do what you gotta do.
Hope everyone is doing better xxx
Thank god my parents are going away for like 2wks in may so I can focus on losing. My sister is 'watching' me (I'm 16..almost) and won't notice what I am or am not eating. My plan is to throw out most of the food mum leaves me after theyve left and reserve the money for going out on the weekends. And spend the rest on celery.
OH! And not ED related but. . .I think I might want to go blonde. After I've lost some weight, kind of you know, a whole change. I really want to know how I'd look first though. Any suggestions as to how to do that? I'm not exactly good with photoshop or anything so that's out. Maybe go to like a wig shop? But I doubt they would just let me try on a whole bunch of wigs to see what the best colour would be...
havent been on here in a while =/
wondering what your fav stomach exersizes are? i really really really need to tone, i already jog and such but my stomach still stays wobbely and disgusting :'(
any advice? other than sit-ups? they're not working too well, my stomach just stays the same
height: 5,4 /164 cm
weight: 112p / 51 kg
2nd gw: 95
I'm fasting today, and I'm toying with the idea of four reps of 0-2-4-6-8, but what do you think? I've never had such a time restraint, and I'm not sure what would be fastest. I NEED this weight gone. Any suggestions? I'd appreciate reccomendations on both diet and exercise regimes.
yesterday *girl* went in to my bag and took my diet pills out, the rest of the day everyone was talking about it
today *girl 2* said yeah why not just go on the jess diet and everyone laughed, the rest of the day they have been going on about my diets how i loose weight and being anorexic. im sure they dont mean to upset me but i just wanted to walk out the class. instead i had to go along with it and act like it didnt bother me. otherwise they would know somehting is wrong.
i want to loose even more weight now to proove them wrong. stupid idiots
my 30 day diet didnt really work out.. i have been eating so little but everynow and then i nibble at food.
so my new diet :-
monday-college 9/5 (home at 6) skip breakfast and lunch and dinner. (dinner in bin)
tuesday-college 10/2 (home at 3) drama at 6:30/7:330 skip breakfast and lunch and dinner (in bin)
wednesday-college 9/2 (home at 3) skip breakfast and lunch and dinner (in bin)
thursday-college 9/3, work from 4 30/8:30 (home at 9) skip all meals
friday-college 9/12 (home 1) skip all meals, (dinner in bin)
saturday-work 7-4 or 1030/730. skip all meals (dinner in bin)
LOL so yeah.. thats.. fasting :) just planned out so i can understand better hah :)
100 sit ups a day
10 mins on stepper a day
2/4 jogs a week
swimming 2 times a week
dancing one hour a week
working 13 hours a week
my work out routine 1 hour a day
:) i will be skinny. pretty. tiny :)
i had celery, carrots, diet pill, water, and 100 cal soup. total: 155 cal
everyone was like "YOU EAT SOOO HEALTHY!" and i was just like "umm thanks." thinking- it's not healthy if this is all i'm eating for the day. but they don't understand anyway. someone did make an anorexic joke. i tried to not show how offended i was, but didn't want anyone to know the truth. so i just focused on my assignment.
that's all i've had today! maybe by monday i can lose a few more pounds. i set new goals for myself:
cw: 127 (uhh yeah, 3 down from monday's weigh in. but still huge.)
gw 1 (by may 3- PROM): 120
gw 2 (by may 18- GRADUATION): 110
gw 3 (by june 1): 105?
that's probably about as low as i can get. i wish i could get smaller, but i have big hips and you can't get rid of bones. too bad.
im FASTING. next week, when im back at school as its easier.
if i had half a can of soup at 5pmish and only tea and water, would that class as afast and how much would i loose in 5 days?
i NEED to know (:
sorry. i posted a week or so ago saying how sick this website was for promoting anorexia.
ive just searched pro ana in google and went to 'anas underground grotto'
THAt is sick.
'ana is a lifesttly'
tips + tricks
even 'rituals' to 'summon' some ana god or something.
i am SO sorry. this website is actually just support. ive just realised and feel so bad.
i now agree, this website isnt actually 'pro ana' more 'pro ana support'. which is good as everyone needs support.
but now i TOTALLY agree with the french banning pro ana websites, that one i went on is disgusting.
anorexia is a mental illness not a bloody lifestly :@
so, sorry for my other post.
have to go and do my schoolwork now,
Im so gonna fail these exams
as I havn't done hardly any coursework,
but if I revise really hard then I may be able to get some decent marks on the papers
got no appetite today,feel good:}
alot better than yesterday
hope everyones having a good day
i got kicked out of the house last week
horrible i know but nevermind
since last wednesday i have lost 8lbs
anyway now at 116.4lbs
but will try harder starting tomoro
Mae says: I refuse to eat ramen noodles, so I'm pretty much screwed.
Mae says: I don't mind a bowl of tuna with a pickle, but too much is too much.
realhorrorshow says: yeah, too much is a problem.
realhorrorshow says: you've seen me, i'm a fairly skinny guy anyway
realhorrorshow says: i've lost like, 10 pounds this year, hah
I love this boy so much, but sometimes he just says the wrong thing.
Any ideas or suggestions?
i cant be happy and fat.
the more i starve myself, the more miserable i am.
when does the circle break?
i just thought that this might make you laugh - as well as being disgusted.
we have some people over whoa re revarnishing the floor and so i hav no access to a toilet for about two hours. i can't drink anythnig because i already need to pee and i binged and needed to purge so i had to do it at the back of the garden.
sincere apologies to those who now feel queasy / ill / unwell.
love you all beautiful ladies.
and I got this pill from my doctor called, DIane Mite and I've been taking it for week and a half...
I'VE GAINED 10 POUNDS!!!!!!
what should I do???
I am so glad its finally the weekend...school was so bad today I wish I was invisible sometimes. Does anyone else always feel like everyone is staring at them?(in a bad way)
Anyway have a skinny weekend....
I'm ok but i've got a few questions for ya,
What body shape are you?
I'm a pearshape, my waist is small & my tummy is flat but then BANG... My hips are soooo wide & my thighs are so big! =[ So i was wondering if i lose lots more weight will my body shape change? Like will my thighs & hips go to being thin? (if you know what i mean.)
Anywayz SS & TT
Luv ya all xoxo
I am longing for my low weight - i know i won't be happy until i get there, or at least within 10 pounds cause apparently it was almost deathly skinny. People say the feeling of gaining happiness by losing weight is an illusion, an empty dream, but for me it is real and it works.
Had i not gone to the hospital, had i not entered a treatment center or at least left as soon as i was medically stable i would not be in this predicament right now, where i am used to eating but cannot eat normal, only erratically, and go through periods where i can't lose weight of even gain..
The process is so painfully slow....
random question, but does anyone have a picture of a ana girls back, like not to sound creepy but naked. like spine bones.
cus im doing an art project and i want to draw a really bony back =]
I was fasting today to make up for it, and when i woke up this morning i just new it was a very restrictive day and it felt great.
Fasting isn't something i do and doesn't usually work for me, and i eventually found myself picking and then had an apple. This wouldn't have been so bad except that when i am "supposed" to be fasting the guilt factor of eating is exponentially larger, do much so that the day feels like a waste and a throwaway, I feel as though I might as well just binge.
Which i did.
This is not good at all.
I am not going to try to fast again tomorrow. It is supposed to be a 500 day tomorrow and that is what i'll do.
Tomorrow is a new day
I posted a little earlier (down below!) about how ive eaten basically nothing for the past 4 days and lost basically no weight,
I wonder if maybe i should eat some soup or something to kickstart my metabolism and skip the fruit? I just dont want to because ive had no solid food except for breakfast for the last 4 days and im not hungry! please help!!!
take care guys good luck be strong XxOo
yeah... that's all. needed to distract myself a little bit.
I've been doing...okay I suppose.
Well actually for a while I was doing excelent (vegan..mostly raw diet, tons of excercise,gave up caffine & cigs after reading 'skinny bitch' ect. =98lbs) ..by the way 'skinny bitch' is a must read!!! anyway...
but then I got pneumonia...
the excercise and the diet went completely out the window. I was half dead for three weeks, I am feeling better now but I am up to 103, started smoking again, starting consuming caffine & coffee again and instead of being on a health freak diet, I am on the beer, vodka, water and cigarette diet (my usual summer habbit)
when I am on this 'diet' of mine I tend to throw up every night before bed and don't really eat at all.
I have been losing some weight but I know alcohol slows down your metabolism & the acid in coffee stores fat...
I don't know how to get out of this cycle!!!
(PS just incase you didn't know::: 1 long island iced tea contains anywhere from 700 to 870 calories. Yeah... I went out to dinner with family the other night and ordered a long island iced tea so that I wouldnt eat, I assumed it probably had about 300 cals which I was okay with because it was the only thing I had consumed all day, but when I got home I decided to make sure and I almost had a heart attack!!!)
after my last post last night, i got bored (and anxious) and went for a run. I circled campus three times, so I have no idea how far it was (maybe 5 or 6 miles)... but it didn't feel like that long at all...
It's interesting how that works out...
77.5lbs and counting.
I think that was all water weight though... i must have sweated it all out... i dont know any other way i'd have lost 1.5 pounds in a day...
2nd thing: only 15 cals today (sugar free jello with my vitamin).... go me!
very bad few days :(
im getting back in control now though im too scared to weigh myself
i really hope i havnt gained
its driving me insaneeee
ive been so depressed recently becuase of it all
no solid food just soup mainly and caffine lots of it
i hope everyones okayyyy
oh and if anyones had any good experiences with diet pills (In the uk) could you let me know where you get them from and what theyre called?
id really appreciate it:)
stay strong girlieess xxxxxxxx
thnx luv u all!!
do you think if i throw it down the toilet...it'll clog it...
haha i know stupid question but i don't wanna get it clogged and have nothing to say to my parents about it..."oops i was eating in the bathroom and it kinda fell...." stupid~
It's an actual song now, pretty nifty. ^_^
Tell me what you think.
95 lbs now!!! :]
Fasting, doing well.
The misleading comfort zone,
That consumes me everyday.
A deceitful way of life,
That'll end me some way.
A fabled storytale,
The meaning late in the post.
Constantly wary of my surroundings,
When I should fear myself the most.
I'm behind a barrier,
And it's only me that'll break.
Behind a barrier,
It's just a question of how long it'll take. x2
A thousand broken promises,
I've forgotten how I'm 'sposed to be.
The focus is clearer now,
But nothing seems to make me see.
Blissful ignorance is the key,
Into the trap of my demise.
Everyday I do the same old things,
All the risks and all the lies.
Is this the way I'm meant to be?
I'm behind a barrier,
And it's only me that'll break.
Behind a barrier,
It's just a question of how long it'll take.
I'm behind a barrier,
And it's only me that'll break.
Behind a barrier,
Could I be saved by a choice that I make?
mines ForEverYoungLust if anybody wants to chat later. I need support and ppl to chat with
I feel like sheer crap. I ate so freaking much today! Seriously, I feel like utter shit. The one bright side is I excecised more today than I usually do. And I'm going to do some more tonight, so hopefully it will help me out a little. I'm returning to my fast tomorrow. Sunday will be hard, because it's Easter in the Greek Orthodox church, and I'm going over to my Thea and Theo's to celebrate. My Theo Takis is making the food for everyone, and he's such a good cook, and I'm a sucker for Greek food, because I can only ever get it when I'm home =/
I want to be skinny so badly, but I just feel like this weekend is setting me up for a tremendous failure. Even if I'm really good now and don't eat all week next week, I don't think I'll make my goal weight by my anniversary. Which means my fiance will have to go out with a big fat cow on his arm, instead of a thin and beautiful fiancee who's worthy of him.
But maybe this is all just a small glitch in the plan. What I've noticed is that I tend to stay at one weight for a whole month, no matter what I do to lose. But as soon as I get my period and my cycle stops again, I lose like 5 Lbs overnight. And I've been so good lately (except for today. I'm useless) that maybe after I get my period, I will be closer to my GW. Here's hoping, at least.
My Drug Education professor thinks I should be a lawyer. She thinks I have potential. I want to inform her that I feel my life is going nowhere, and everyone I know seems disinclined to disagree with me. My mom even called her batshit crazy when I told her what my prof said. Then I realized why I feel like I do. It's one thing for me to think I'm going nowhere, but I'd like it if someone else who really knew me believed I could do something with my life. Anyway...
I hope all of you lovlies are having a wonderful day. Stay strong and think thin! I'm fasting tomorrow, so send skinny vibes my way!
So, I'm student teaching right now (only 7 days left!), and of course I've lost a great deal of weight this semester. (about 30 lbs at this point).
I had my last observation (by my supervisor), and while we're sitting there talking about my teaching and my abilities and things that need to improve, my sup. goes into he thinks i need to gain weight. and that it is distracting to the students if their teacher is scary skinny.
1) I"m not scary skinny. I'm barely even thin.
2) the kids respond just fine to me as i am..
3) just tell me and get it over... your job is not to talk about my weight.. it's to talk about my teaching, and my teaching is not affected by what size pants i wear... DAMN!
(and, at school, i wear pants that are like 2 sizes to big, so like, 1's or 3's most of the time, with layers underneath. so other than my face and hands, you cant even tell my real weight)
it really pissed me off. everyone is down my throat with this crap.
one of these days, im going to take a big bite of something, turn around, and purge right on their "healthy" bodies....just wait.
i have no texing(my mom took it away) and no internert(which my mom took away and i could use hers only when she's gone) ...
BUT I REALLY WANT A DIET BUDDY...
anything i should get? what's something low cal but amazingggg?!
please & thank you (:
no gym, no videos. WHAT DO I DO? and for how long? also, does anyone know how many calories FAST samba burns?t
I sat next to her with a bowl of shredded lettuce and didn't even eat any of her food off her plate like I have done in the past,
just have no desire to eat really,but Im about to exercise so I need something,
hope your all okay
Does anyone believe in negative foods? I really don't know wether to believe them or not, because I just can't imagine that being true. Is it really? Or is it just a bunch of bull?
but i just have a lot going through my head as it was a rough day today... and im at work, which means i have a computer sitting in front of me for hours on end and nothing better to do but to keep reading, responding, writing... etc...
sometimes i feel like i dont know why im in groups like this (this is not my only one by any means)... so many people have problems trying to stop themselves from eating, and I love to support people.
but my problem is when it comes to eating, actually making the food go down.. .not like "recovery-style", but like "in order to live" style...
i'd really like a buddy.. someone that i can talk to that's kind of in this same boat... where the eating is just so hard... i dont know what im saying... just ranting and hoping i guess... that there's someone oout there like me...
the only time ive ever had a 'buddy' like this, was in treatment... and seeing as im not planning on going back there any time soon, i'd like someone not in treatment to talk to.
But now i feel sooo soo ill... and i know maybe i felt tired and weak before but now i feel even worse i feel really full and bloated and i have'nt even eaten that much.
So im thinking i should just go back to not eating, it's got to be better than feeling like this:(:( my stomachs practically ballooned
Anyone else hate the feeling of been full... and how do you prevent it...??
( Collapse )
i am going away 4 my D of E in a canoo this weekend.. its going to be great because there aint going to be any adults with us, so i can just eat nothing for 48 hours... so i will be surviving of my diet energy drinks.
i am 5ft 1 and i have gone back up to 110 lbs from 106 (Dough) how much weight do you think i can loose over all at the weekend??
and has any1 got any tips on how i can lose a little extra weight?
hope u r all doin well =]
gah so hungry but i cant do it to myself.
i either love food or hate it
i love the way it tastes in my mouth.. the textures etc.. but i HATE HATE HATE what it does.. who needs it anyway?
"surely just like plants we can learn to live on just the air around us?"
i love you all so much, so much more than you could imagine. we get through things together when nobody else understands. i thank you for that.
well ive had a shit month of bulimia - instead of ana
+ my gran getting cancer
and my brother almost dying
so you can understand me gaining slightly HUGE
my mum called me fat today... straight up. i almost cried.
anyway i spose the last weeks been good since my gran got better and i got my science gcse modular mark back A* (Y)
so im happy.
until my friends have a go at me for not eating... and buy me chips which they watch me eat,
AND my other friend was like ":O:O im 6 and a half stone now.. ive gained bare.."
and she's asking me for "tips" when she knows full well ive had various ed's in the passed.
++ for about a month what do you think would be better 2468, or under 250cals a day?
but I dont think I really have the willpower..
Ive been tryig to eat normally.. purged last night... and feeling SOOO guilty right now
I feel so caught.. and I want to do 2468 starting monday despite wanting to recover
I just dont understand :(
How often do you guys poop????
i know i know.
but I never do!
like once every 2-3 days.
watching perfect body on youtube when i get back.
i'm 16 and have the house to myself tonight. do you guys like having the house to yourself and could you tell me some awesome binging foods!
but i need someone to help me decide which diet pills to buy tomorrow.
will i totally be wasting money if i spend £40 on hoodia??
and now my mums shouting in the background how she wishes she had a different daughter and can't believe how she ended up with such a shit child.
yeh thanx mum.
i just bingeed on my third day of tthe abc,
i binged on pizza, ice cream, cinnamon rolls, fruit, and rice!!!!
please persuade me and tell me i could fast tomorrow like it says to
on the ana boot camp sitte and get back on track sunday or monday.
do you think i should fast for the whole weekend??
please i need support right now.
I'm a little skeptic though so I was wondering...
has anyone else tried these?
for 2 weeks - ish
how much on average would i lose?
or how much do you lose usually?
OMG I AM FINISHIN DAY 13 OF MY WATER FAST....AND MY STOMACH IS KILLIN ME....AM ACTUALLY SCARED TO EAT CAUSE I THINK IT MIGHT MAKE ME SERIOUSLY ILL....MY FEELINGS TOWARD BINGIN ARE DEF GOING AWAY WHICH IS GREAT AND AM HOPIN TO STICK WITH RESTRICTING TILL I REACH MY GOAL WEIGHT OR AT LEAST ONE OF THEM....WEIGHING IN TOMORROW LOVES WISH ME LUCK!!
sooo yeah I'm being put into a small inpatient hospital sometime in the next week. I'm fairly nervous about this and am wondering what types of things they do there.
anyone who's been in IP have any advice/stories/etc to share?
ive had only and apple every day and then a very small dinner at night
its been great coz im on my own so i can get away with it!!!
but i feel like i have put on heaps of weight!!!
I DONT GET IT...i feel like ive put on heaps of weight around me tummy !!
is this norm or is it just in my head?
today was my 3rd day of the abc diet and i screwed myelf over.
on pizza, ice cream, rice, fruit, cinnamon rolls, plus the 300 cals i had for the abc.
i just purged andi feel a lot better but im mad that i didnt purge more....
i feel heavy.
i hate my body.
and i dont want it.
sometimes i just want to fly out of it.
where did my willpower go.
i did so good yesterday.
should i fast for one or two days?
P.S. SUPPORT WOUD BE NICE AT THIS TIME OF NEED.
about me and how i dont eat anything at school and go home and binge and pretent to be ana just to get attention i went into the bathroom and
cryed then i came out and felt horriable. When i came home my mom took me out to dinner then i came home had some peanuts and was
like who cares what she says im fat anyways and bingeeeed idk even what all i ate then i went through my whole house and threw everything
that is bad away. i suck. what should i do
so i probably had around 1000 cals today. and didnt excersize. tomorrow im going to fast and try to fast sunday. im sick of my weight!!!!
so if mentioning food offends you,
The ONE thing I hate about smoking pot
is that when I do,
I suddenly feel like it's completely reasonable
-6 soy ice cream sandwiches
-3 pieces of cheeseless pizza with garlic sauce
-10 rice cakes
-rice with mushrooms and soy sauce.
ugh. and I don't even feel full.
it wants me to be fat and ugly.
im so frustrated, i miss being able to eat nothing at all for days on end and feel great. i hate food. you're all making me so jealous, i miss being able to get away with having nothing :(
love you all
thank you sooo much
Does anyone here accept that they may die?
That they may one day just collapse. And never wake up?
Do you accept that this is happening to you?
Or does everyone wish that someone will save them?
Save them in time. Save them before it is too late?
i havent gone to the gym in almost two weeks because ive been on antibiotics with a sinus infection and terrible cold and i FEEL TERRIBLEEEEEEE i gained like 3-4 pounds and does anyone else feel like they gain weight so easily? why do i have to torture myself for the rest of my life to lose weight , keep it off, then worry about every fkin thing i put in my mouth! i hate food and i hate what its done to me. It's all I i ever think about and i feel worthless when and after I eat. so its not even worth eating at all. I just need to motivate myself and get inspiration from all of you again to start new tomorrow. Tommorow is another day and FUCk the past 2 weeks because they are gone and done with and I cant turn back time. does anyone have any advice? ah im so lonely
Have a good night lovelies
Which brings me to my next little ramble. I broke my fast with him, i wanted him to think i was more restricting than fasting, which he still has a problem with but not as much. I had dry lettuce. And this makes me angry because i was supposed to be fasting until sunday, since i broke my fast earlier this week (with dry salad again) due to family issues. Tomorrow i am going to get up, go to work until 1:00, skip lunch with co-workers (total death trap when it comes to food), then go to starbucks or borders to finish a paper for school and flush out everything with like 8 bottles of water. I am a planner and this is my plan.
and she told me how gross mk... i was like noooooooooooooo way! ---she's gorge. (mentally) LOL
do you think u'd go to hell
im so lonely, fat, ugly, horrific and yeaaaaaaaaah. such a cool life.
so before i went out tonight i had about 3 mixed drinks but then when we went out to the bar .... 2 for 1 might i add.. i had NOTHING.... i had diet cokes all night which didnt cost me ANYTHING.. yet all iw ant to do is cry... IDK why. my roomate kept asking me if i was alright. CUZ I WAS SOBER.. i mean i did drink.. thats a good thing.. but i feel so guilty and helpless... idk what to do... i feel like smashing my leg against a pole or something.. im so lost for words.. WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY...