April 28th, 2009

please help me

Im so tierd i need help. This weekend my mom cutted herself because her boyfriend left the house. He is back. But i think that in a way she was using it to manipulate him like saying oh look what you make me do to myself because she took a picture of it and sent to to him. And its really not fair to me because i had to clean it up and she knows that ive done it for my sister everytime shes drunk and that it hurts me. It wasnt like a big cut or anything.
Im loosing my mind i dont know what to do i cant take care of her i cant even hold myself together. Im only 17, shes the adult.
This weekend she was depressed and so she kept saying she wanted an ipod and so i went out and got her one with the money my dad gave me for my birthday.
Today when she dropped me of at school she said she needed to leave the house for a while
I dont know what to do. Ive backed a bag and i think im going to get out of the house tomorrow at 5 a.m
please help me, tell me what to do


what do you guys go by weight or measurements? i've decided to focus on measurements because the scale cannot be trusted!! but then i dont know measurements hardly budge. i really want slim hips i lose weight there the least easy what are good exercises for hips? i used to rollerblade but that made my arse and thighs feel really bulky. much love to you all. xx
  • alam3

getting control back

had about 600 cal for breakfast and just finished exercising - burned 400cal which brings me to a net of about 200cal. also took 6lax tablets...going to try attempt some crunches now....i have to get control back.  and i just want to say THANKS so much for ur support lovelies...without this place i would be lost xox

crying all day

ive lost the only two people ive ever really loved.
one was last year in a car accident (a yr on saturday)
and the other is moving across the country and wants nothing to do with me until she moves bc its "too hard" for her.


hi im kate- nice to meet you

Hi My name is Katie and I joined the group today. I am always nervous to introduce myself but here we go.

Im a 27 year old Australian girl living in Ireland. Im by no means anorexic- I have a bmi of 25 so Im more close to the overweight side of things... but I am no strabnger to live journal or ED related behaviour. Ive been bulimic (and went to treatment), Ive been a huge laxative abuser, a restricter and an over eater... Ive been fat and I've been slim...

Im not currently binging or purging (well not on a regular basis), and I am trying hard to stray from laxative abuse (but Im struggling). I try to restrict in a bid to avoid the trigger to purge and take lax. But some days are harder than others. I get 'better' but cabn be easily triggered by something as simple as losing a couple of lbs whn I am sick...

I found happiness in the form of an irish man last year while on a one year holiday in Ireland,and since making the move here to live with him, alot of the feelings I have toward myself and food have calmed down....but I have been struggling with these issues since I was 13 and I am now 27 so you can appreciate these feelings are hard to let go of.

Im around for anyone that wants to chat so drop me a line.
Take Care

Guy thing ughh....advice please

Off topic i know, but you guys are like best friends so here goes, i've NEVER had a boyfrined ever in my life and theres this amazing guy right now, i dont see him that often and when i do i forget just about every problem and have the most wonderful feeling ever.....but we've only talked properly like once and it was amazing i was high for the rest of week! we just had like a casual hi and exchanged a smile today...i dont know should i just give up? just let it go? but i dont want to let it go if theres something really speical there....but i dont know if i should keep pursuing it any thoughts? i understand if i people dont think this post is like useful or anything ARH >.< would be grateful for some help thank youuu xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative

(no subject)

Go now, and live.

Experience. Dream. Risk. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Make friends with your intuition. Trust your gut. Discover the beauty of uncertainty. Know yourself fully before you make promises to another. Make millions of mistakes so that you will know how to choose what you really need. Know when to hold on and when to let go. Love hard and often and without reservation. Seek knowledge. Open yourself to possibility. Keep your heart open, your head high and your spirit free. Embrace your darkness along with your light. Be wrong every once and a while, and don’t be afraid to admit it. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments. Tell the truth about yourself no matter what the cost. Own your reality without apology. See goodness in the world. Be Bold. Be Fierce. Be Grateful. Be Wild, Crazy and Gloriously Free. Be You.

Go now, and live.

(no subject)


For some reason after seeing myself in a few different shop mirrors, I stormed off to a pharmacy and bought diet pills, the strongest on the market. The pharmacist asked me how much do I want to lose, I said 10 pounds for starters. She gave me pills for 15 days and seemed very optimistic for my weight loss.

I surely hope I'll drop some, no matter what I do, I won't lose recently. It was an expensive act of desperation which for my own sanity will hopefully make a difference.