I love texting. I was wondering if anyone wanted to exchange numbers? I'm not looking for a fasting buddy, I know the idea upsets some members of this community, I'm not always by my computer and sometimes I just wish I had someone I could talk to that understands. I live in Wisconsin.


what do you guys go by weight or measurements? i've decided to focus on measurements because the scale cannot be trusted!! but then i dont know measurements hardly budge. i really want slim hips i lose weight there the least easy what are good exercises for hips? i used to rollerblade but that made my arse and thighs feel really bulky. much love to you all. xx
  • alam3

getting control back

had about 600 cal for breakfast and just finished exercising - burned 400cal which brings me to a net of about 200cal. also took 6lax tablets...going to try attempt some crunches now....i have to get control back.  and i just want to say THANKS so much for ur support lovelies...without this place i would be lost xox


Locked and barricaded within your own thoughts,
Thoughts which ricochet like fireflies trapped within a jar.
Simply torturous, analytical, critical, and methodical.
This brain.
This soundtrack of my life.
Playing on constant repeat,
Mimicking the ways of my heart beat.
Hushed murmurs, whispered words.
I'm lost,
So speechless,
I cannot find the escape to this bottomless dark abyss.


written by *please dont steal*


(no subject)

Im going to hell. I hate myself.
I have the most loving and amazing boyfriend ever.
And I am going to hurt him. becuase I dont love him anymore.
It was one argument and it just took all my desire for him away.
I dont want him back
and he loves me.
I wish I could go back to wanting him to hold me.
I really dislike being around him.
Last time I checked that was unhealthy

(no subject)

i hate it when the people who love you help you relapse with this disorder and they dont even know theyre even doing it.
yesterday, i went out to a restaurant with my boyfriend and i ended up binging at the restaurant. we split a large plate, and because i was eating so fast due to the binge I ended up eating more than my boyfriend,
he looks at me and says," You Eat A lot." And it smacked me in the head that im a fucking cow who cant control herself.
And then i told him we ate the same amount, and he said no, that i ate so much more than him and pointed out every single thing i ate.
i got soo depresssed
6 months ago before i recovered, he used to say i was too skinny and i needed to eat more and now when i recovered he says i eat too much.
im never good enough.
And im soo fucking happy that im relapsing so i can make him hurt by being soo skinny so he knows its his fucking fault.